Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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