If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
