Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
