I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
