Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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