How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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