As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize