And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
