It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
