Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
