Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
so much tequila, so little girl.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
