Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize