if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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