think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
