You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
