Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
