if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
