TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize