Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize