Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
