The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
