I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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