You're so nebulous sometimes
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
