'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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