soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
