call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize