I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I believe in your delicious
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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