I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So vagazzling was a success
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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