So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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