if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I need a burrito and a hug.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize