I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
