He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize