He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
