STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
