I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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