got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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