so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
