wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
