I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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