he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
