Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize