I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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