theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
