He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
