i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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