I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm bleeding and have questions
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
