singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
