Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
