know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
