yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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