having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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