margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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