Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
