yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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