My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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