so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
