I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
