When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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